I had always assumed that fate and destiny are pretty much the same thing and yet in the last two weeks, it has been pointed out in many seemingly coincidental ways, that they are not.
I thought that maybe there are others living under the same assumption and it would be worth sharing my learning.
The Difference Between Destiny and Fate
Alberto Villoldo in his book Mending the Past and Healing the Future with Soul Retrieval’ explains the non-western, shamanic, aboriginal difference between fate and destiny.
“Fate is a course that has been predetermined by our family, our history, our genes, and our emotional wounds. We speak about the fate of nations with a sense of inevitability….In other words, fate is the predetermined and seemingly inevitable series of events that happen to us…”
“Destiny on the other hand, is the purpose and calling of a life, and it can be discovered and realised….
Destiny allows you to navigate life instead of stumble through it. When you step into your destiny, you can participate consciously in your own growth.”
Paulo Coelho’s book The Alchemist is also about choosing your destiny and sticking with it until it is realised. Destiny is not the easy choice as it is the choice of growth and challenge and reaching further than you ever imagined. It is the choice of living.
Fate is the choice of existing until death. Fate is fatal!
So why is this Important?
Im my world that’s what NLP and Time Line Therapy™ are about. That’s why I’m so passionate about them. They give you the opportunity to say ‘I can continue to go on the way I’m going and blame everything on fate or I can learn about myself, my beliefs, my values, my conditioning and change them. I can take responsibility for my life and how I respond to events.’
The very presuppositions of NLP give you the opportunity to step into your destiny. To choose to believe the ‘rules’ and attitudes that give you some input into how your life and your future works.
Cause vs Effect = Destiny vs Fate
This is a frame in NLP and one of the most important things to choose as true in order to accelerate change in your life.
If this is the only thing you take from this post then this post has been valuable.
If you are at cause in your life, from an NLP perspective you are taking responsibility for the results you are getting no matter how painful, how justified you may feel. The idea is that you accept that on an unconscious/conscious level you and fate got you here. So the conditioning, beliefs, values, unconscious and conscious choices you have made got you to where you are. By accepting that as true you are taking back power and accepting that you can make choices which will move you forward from where you are to create a better life. You can choose to change the conditioning, beliefs, values and conscious and unconscious choices so that you create the life you want for yourself. You can choose destiny over fate.
If you are at effect you are on the blame side of the equation. Everything external to yourself is responsible for where you are. The government, the economy, your spouse, your parents…
You have no power here. You have surrendered to fate. This is the way it is and you can’t change it. This is where excuses live. This is where we ‘try’ rather than ‘do’.
Also, if you blame yourself for where you are you are on the effect side of the equation. You disempower yourself by wallowing in self-abuse and self-criticism. You talk yourself into a stuck place.
A lot of us are here a lot of the time. This is where we want to choose to move from fate to destiny, to living with purpose and intention.
What will you Choose?
As we begin a new year what will you choose? Will you choose to step up to your destiny, to live a full and exciting life? Or will you choose to blame everything and everyone one else and give in to the ‘fates’? Are you ‘busy living or busy dying?’
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Wishing you a healthy, wealthy, joyful, love-filled year!