- Are you a stranger to your family?
- Do your really know folks as well as you think?
- Is your partner/spouse who you think they are?
- Can strangers be trusted?
- When does someone stop being a stranger?
- A person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar: “she remained a stranger to him”.
- A person who does not know, or is not known in, a particular place or community: “I’m a stranger in these parts”.
We usually think of a stranger as someone we’ve just met or come into contact with.
Danger, danger Internet Stranger
Through business networking sites and Social Media I’m connected with people I’ve worked with or am about to work with.
Some of the folks who have helped me through some of my toughest times, I first connected with online. We were Strangers.
I know not every meeting or connection online is a safe and genuine one – like life really. I do observe that those with the least digital footprint tend to be the ones I’m most suspicious of.
Like with everything, connecting with someone across the internet comes with it’s unique risks and if you don’t already know or learn ways of validating what they are telling you about themselves you can leave yourself open to deception. Especially when you’re in a vulnerable place or dating online.
Never Trust A Stranger
Strangers can come into our lives for fleeting moments and appear like angels with the simple gifts and perfect timing:
The man who compliments a girl when she’s struggling to like herself;
the boy who helps an old lady across the road when she’s thinking the world has forgotten her;
the driver who stops to help when your tyre has blown and you don’t think you’re going to get home.
The man who appears with a handkerchief when you’re sitting on a park bench, breaking your heart and feeling alone.
The woman next to you in the supermarket queue who entertains your kids when you feel you’ve lost control.
The folks along the road who smile and say hello, reviving your faith in humanity and bringing a smile to your face.
The crowd of kids on the Tube who sing Bohemian Rhapsody because it’s your favourite song and to help you relax (or is that one just me).
Fleeting moments, fleeting connections, and often lasting memories.
It’s a fact that we judge people on appearance within the first four seconds of seeing them. Our prejudices, beliefs, conditioning, experience and generalisations jump into action and we’ve often formed an opinion before they even speak. It’s what we do.
It’s how we create our reality (see Your Brain is Like Facebook )
The important thing is what you do after that initial reaction. Do you listen to your head or move to intuition, looking beyond what you see and connect on a different level?
I remember many moons ago, as a student travelling to college one day, sitting on the bus when a guy from my class sat down next to me. Now he was huge (tall and broad), had long hair and beard and wore a bikers leather jacket.
I was a little nervous.
And then he began to chat to me.
He was a gentle giant, a lovely guy.
That was the moment that I really got ‘you can’t tell a book by its cover’.
Now, I listen to my gut, I listen to my body rather than just my eyes.
Stranger in Your Bed
How well do you know your spouse, your lover, your partner?
What’s it like to discover the person you’ve been intimate with, you’ve shared your soul with are not everything they seem.
Your relationship is not what it seems.
They tell so many stories and bring you up and down so often that in the end you don’t know who they are and you don’t know what is truth any more?
Doubt becomes your close companion so that you can’t even trust yourself, you really don’t trust ‘I Love you’.
When everything you made sacrifices and compromises for turns out to be an illusion, so fragile you don’t want to breathe because what will be left?
How well do you know the secrets of your partner or your spouse? Are they really who you think they are?
Or if they were described by someone else – would you recognise them?
How Well do We Ever Know Anyone?
We all have years of living and various journeys we’ve taken at different ages and periods in our lives. We’d struggle ourselves to remember most of these accurately and do we really share everything with those closest to us?
Sometimes it’s better to look at the person you have in front of you today. Not the one you’d leave if you knew how they’d acted twenty years ago when they made bad choices and mistakes.
How can people really change if we still judge them on past mistakes? How can they really start over?
The person of twenty years ago may be a stranger you may not have wanted to meet, it may not mean the person you have with you now is a stranger.
They may be more of who they are than they have ever been before.
Stranger in The Family
How well do your family know you?
I’ve just returned home to help out my parents after some twenty plus years of living many miles away.
I know they don’t know me. They don’t know the things I’ve seen and the places I’ve been. The struggles I’ve faced and the people I’ve met. They joy I’ve experienced and the tears I have cried.
And that’s the way life takes us and shapes us.
I am not the girl who left at eighteen.
I’m a stranger in their midst.
I feel like a stranger to all of my family and they are strangers to me.
Are you a Stranger to Yourself?
With all of the beliefs and conditioning, family and friend influences, it’s easy to conform until you lose sight of your true self and what you truly want for your life.
Or are you a person with secret yearnings that lives a double life? Would your other life, your deepest desires make you a stranger to those who think they know you?
We are all strangers to a point (I believe) and yet if you spiritually strip things back to the energy from which we came, then we are not strangers. We are connected on a level beyond the physical.
Who and What do You Really Know?
We all have our own unique perspective and interpretations of events and experiences, of people and of places.
Unless we can live the life of another it is impossible to ‘know’ them.
We all have secret closets that we may even be keeping from ourselves.
With all the moments we have lived, we are all strangers in certain contexts and yet there are those who may know us better than we know ourselves.
Enjoy the moments you have with the person with you, tomorrow they may be lost to you tomorrow.
My practice for now with my parents.
Thank you stranger – here’s hoping you’re a friend I just haven’t met yet…
With much appreciation.